Finding a Church
Do you wonder if attending church is right for you? Are you baffled how to select the church that is right for you? Do you feel overwhelmed by the myriad of options? Or are you simply frustrated by the process? Need help? Below are some of the most common questions regarding how to find the right church for you!
Many people are uncomfortable with the idea of finding a church and attending on a regular basis. We already have our own groups of friends and activities, and have no desire to step out of our comfort zones. So why bother?
Obedience:
The Bible commands us to come together with other believers in Christ and “fellowship.” Hebrews 10:25, [Paul speaking], tells us, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: so much more the more, as you see the day approaching.” The early church steadfastly continued in fellowship with one another (Acts 2:24).
Prayer:
We are encouraged through prayer in two ways. One, when others pray for us. There is a “building up” and strengthening that occurs in us as others pray for us. Second, when we pray for others. Our lives are greatly encouraged when we pray for someone and see their lives powerfully changed.
Fellowship:
When we believe the Gospel of Christ, we have embarked on a new journey. We do not merely wait until we die to partake of a new life (eternal). Our new life begins now. But this new life is different, sometimes even foreign to anything else we have ever known. We need direction and encouragement. Having a relationship with other believers, helps us grow in our new life. We want to surround ourselves with people who have the same desire and passion to grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ. We are influenced by those with whom we associate.
Old life vs. new life:
Depending on when we accept Christ, we may have spent several years, even decades, living a life with ourselves as the “King”. We never had a relationship with Christ. Now, we do. But the habits and desires of our “old” lives will still pull at us and try to draw us away from God’s will (relationship with Him). Consider the analogy: we arrive in a park and see two separate picnic benches. One bench is loaded with cookies, candy and all sorts of junk food. The other bench is full of organic vegetables, fruits and wholesome food. Which bench is the more healthy choice for our bodies? When our spiritual lives become “hungry”, we must choose upon which source we will feed. We can choose to feed ourselves based on our “old” lives (junk food), or we can feed ourselves on our “new” life (wholesome food). If we feed on the old life, we revert back to the old habits and ways that are contrary to God’s ways and prohibit growth in our walk (relationship) with Christ. Or, we feed on the new life, which means we turn to Christ and ask for strength and direction.
Accountability:
It is easy to say we are living in a certain manner, but in another situation, do the contrary. Accountability with others challenges us to be true in every situation, i.e. maintain the same character no matter where we are or with whom we socialize.
Encouragement:
Our new life in Christ is not going to be easy. We will suffer moments of confusion, despair, frustration, persecution (being belittled for our new faith) and even feeling like we are lost. Although Christ is the remedy to all our woes, it is helpful to have a person who can encourage us. Others can also offer wisdom and direction.
The Bible commands us to come together with other believers in Christ and “fellowship.” Hebrews 10:25, [Paul speaking], tells us, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: so much more the more, as you see the day approaching.” The early church steadfastly continued in fellowship with one another (Acts 2:24).
Prayer:
We are encouraged through prayer in two ways. One, when others pray for us. There is a “building up” and strengthening that occurs in us as others pray for us. Second, when we pray for others. Our lives are greatly encouraged when we pray for someone and see their lives powerfully changed.
Fellowship:
When we believe the Gospel of Christ, we have embarked on a new journey. We do not merely wait until we die to partake of a new life (eternal). Our new life begins now. But this new life is different, sometimes even foreign to anything else we have ever known. We need direction and encouragement. Having a relationship with other believers, helps us grow in our new life. We want to surround ourselves with people who have the same desire and passion to grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ. We are influenced by those with whom we associate.
Old life vs. new life:
Depending on when we accept Christ, we may have spent several years, even decades, living a life with ourselves as the “King”. We never had a relationship with Christ. Now, we do. But the habits and desires of our “old” lives will still pull at us and try to draw us away from God’s will (relationship with Him). Consider the analogy: we arrive in a park and see two separate picnic benches. One bench is loaded with cookies, candy and all sorts of junk food. The other bench is full of organic vegetables, fruits and wholesome food. Which bench is the more healthy choice for our bodies? When our spiritual lives become “hungry”, we must choose upon which source we will feed. We can choose to feed ourselves based on our “old” lives (junk food), or we can feed ourselves on our “new” life (wholesome food). If we feed on the old life, we revert back to the old habits and ways that are contrary to God’s ways and prohibit growth in our walk (relationship) with Christ. Or, we feed on the new life, which means we turn to Christ and ask for strength and direction.
Accountability:
It is easy to say we are living in a certain manner, but in another situation, do the contrary. Accountability with others challenges us to be true in every situation, i.e. maintain the same character no matter where we are or with whom we socialize.
Encouragement:
Our new life in Christ is not going to be easy. We will suffer moments of confusion, despair, frustration, persecution (being belittled for our new faith) and even feeling like we are lost. Although Christ is the remedy to all our woes, it is helpful to have a person who can encourage us. Others can also offer wisdom and direction.
All of us have heard terrible stories about churches from friends, family or personal experience. The news today is flooded with churches accused of various scandals, including sexual abuse. These actions are absolutely without excuse! Unfortunately, these sad events mar the reputations of all churches. The following recommendations are guidelines to help you find a church that accurately preaches the Word of God (Bible) and offers a challenging, encouraging and “safe” environment in which to grow in your relationship with Christ. This article is not a theological discussion about the different denominations.
The "ABSOLUTES" of a Church
There are many factors to consider when choosing a church. Some are essential, for example, basic and foundation doctrines. Other factors are preference, for example the size of the church.
Doctrine
Many churches argue and split over doctrine. Some doctrines are worth arguing over, i.e. “salvation issues.” Others are not so important as to split a congregation. BeStrong Ministries believes that a healthy church must believe the following (doctrines that are worth choosing/not choosing a church):
Another “absolute” is obedience to the Bible.
This is a sticky area to discuss. A body of believers who want to know God more and follow Him, will exhibit certain behaviors in their life. We do not encourage judging one another. No individual has all his “ducks in a row”! All of us are in a process of growth. Also consider that people might adhere to a strict regime of rules and regulations, but still be completely missing the point regarding what it means to believe the Gospel!
TIP: Do not judge the entire church on the basis of a few individuals. Use your common sense. Does the majority of the congregation exhibit a desire, passion, or motivation to change their lives and become like Christ?
Many churches argue and split over doctrine. Some doctrines are worth arguing over, i.e. “salvation issues.” Others are not so important as to split a congregation. BeStrong Ministries believes that a healthy church must believe the following (doctrines that are worth choosing/not choosing a church):
- Does the church believe in the deity (divinity) of Jesus Christ and the Trinity?
- Salvation through Christ only, it is the free gift of God (grace), received by faith. There is nothing an individual can add or subtract from his salvation through Christ. Salvation is for all mankind—no partiality of persons.
- Eternal life can only be accomplished through One who has conquered death. Does the church believe in the literal and bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ?
- Does the church believe the Bible is infallible, the ultimate authority for right and wrong? To live a godly life, one must have a solid reference for decision making, instruction, correction, value system of morality and so forth.
Another “absolute” is obedience to the Bible.
This is a sticky area to discuss. A body of believers who want to know God more and follow Him, will exhibit certain behaviors in their life. We do not encourage judging one another. No individual has all his “ducks in a row”! All of us are in a process of growth. Also consider that people might adhere to a strict regime of rules and regulations, but still be completely missing the point regarding what it means to believe the Gospel!
TIP: Do not judge the entire church on the basis of a few individuals. Use your common sense. Does the majority of the congregation exhibit a desire, passion, or motivation to change their lives and become like Christ?
Denomination:
Many denominations exist within the realm of “Christianity.” BeStrong Ministries does not support or criticize any particular denomination. Some individuals prefer to stay within a certain denomination, i.e. Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal, etc. Because so many variations exist not only between each denomination, but also within each denomination, it is difficult to decide on a choice of a church based on denomination alone.
Friendliness:
How hospitable is the church? Some personalities will prefer different “amounts” of friendliness. Some people do not like to be noticed at first when they are hunting for a church. They prefer to remain unnoticed in a pew. But remember, that church may become your future church home. Other people are more social, so naturally are drawn to more open and friendly churches. A lot of this factor depends on your personality, but there is a balance. You don’t want to be overrun as a newcomer, but also don’t want to be left alone and feel like an “outsider”. Also consider if you feel like you are being coerced into joining, or are you given some breathing space to check things out and decide in your time.
Atmosphere:
When you enter the church, are you greeted by a bright, cheerful atmosphere that encourages and is joyous? Or is the atmosphere dark and depressing? Are the majority of the members drawn within themselves, or excited to be around other believers? Atmosphere is also influenced by the dress code. Are members dressed up, or more casual? What is your preference? Are you more traditional and expect the same from others, or are do you enjoy “casual”?
Worship:
There are so many different forms of worship today. One extreme is very traditional hymns or chants; while on the other extreme is heavy drums and instruments, sounding something akin to “alternative” or “rock” music with Christian lyrics. What is your preference? Based on traditions or experience, you may prefer one over the other. Your age can also cause you to lean one way or the other.
Pastor:
The pastor plays a crucial role in the direction and overall health of a church. Consider the following:
- Are the pastors sermons based on the Word of God (Bible)? Or does he teach unscriptural teachings? If the pastor’s teachings stray from the Word of God, be strongly cautioned that the overall direction of the church will be contrary to God’s will and desires.
- Does the pastor “walk the talk”, i.e. lives and practices what he teaches? Remember no one is perfect, so don’t expect your pastor to be without error. However, the pastor should exhibit a strong desire to live according to the Word of God, and be humble enough to admit his mistakes.
- Style of sermons will vary widely. Some pastors deliver loud, fiery, passionate sermons that give you goose bumps when you listen. Other pastors are quiet, but direct. Is the pastor funny or a complete bore? What do you prefer? Remember, regardless of the style or method of delivery, sermons should never be condemnatory and preached in love.
- Are the pastor’s sermons applicable to daily life, or are they abstract and difficult to understand?
Traditional vs. Modern/Contemporary. Similar to worship, the format of the service can be very traditional and “old style” or very modern and “contemporary”. Again, this is a personal preference.
Programs:
Many churches offer a variety of programs, such as child Sunday school classes, groups for singles, married’s, teenagers, college students, etc. Depending on the size of the church, some have groups for losing weight, exercising together, camping trips and outdoor adventures and more. There actually are a lot of exciting things to do in churches these days! Size will often impact the number of programs offered in any given church.
Small Groups:
Small groups are a great way to maintain closer relationships with a part of the congregation. Small groups meet for specific purposes to study a particular subject, i.e. Gospel of John, or study the topic of reviving your marriage. Some meet with certain people, i.e. a group for teen girls about modesty or single moms for raising children. There are a million small groups available and some churches offer more than others. If you attend a church that doesn’t offer a small group that interests you, talk to the Pastor about starting your own small group!
Ministry Opportunities:
It is important to become involved in a ministry at some level. Understanding many of us have families, jobs and other responsibilities, many churches offer a variety of ministry opportunities with varying levels of time commitment. A ministry service could be watching children during a church service, or visiting members of your church who are ill or in the hospital. Some churches offer short-term mission trips or inner city outreach. Working in soup kitchens, street evangelizing, taking trained dogs into nursing homes or helping children read are just a few examples of ministry opportunities through a church. Again, if you are interested in a ministry idea that your church doesn’t offer, talk to the Pastor and ask if you can be the first!
Size:
Church sizes range from a dozen individuals meeting in a home to 10,000 members or more. Small and large both have their own unique advantages and disadvantages. Some features to consider are:
- Smaller churches will be more close-knit; feel more like a second family. Members sometimes maintain closer relationships with other members than in the larger churches. In small churches, individuals tend to feel like they play a role in the overall function of the church. Bigger churches can make one feel like just a number without special importance to the church. (Even though that isn’t true, the large size can create that atmosphere).
- Large churches have the advantage of offering more programs and wider variety of small groups, as well as having more formalized (Church organizes and leads as opposed to self-initiation) ministry opportunities. Smaller churches don’t have the advantage of numbers, so tend to offer less programs and less formalized ministry opportunities.
- Larger churches offer more services times, i.e. a 5:00 pm and 7:00 pm Saturday night service and 9:00 am and 11:00 am Sunday morning services. All the same service and sermon, but different times. Smaller churches will most likely have one, maybe two services.
Where is the church located in relation to your home? What service times does the church offer? In some areas, there are numerous good churches. Sometimes it can be as simple as picking one that is most convenient in location and times.
- No church is perfect! Although you need to make an informed decision about which church to choose, refrain from judging. Be gracious to others; no one is perfect!
- DON'T GIVE UP! If you have a bad experience with a church, don't give up! Keep trying other churches! There are plenty of great churches, but it may take several times to find the right church for you!
- Get involved. Once you find a church you like, make the effort to get involved, whether in a small group, volunteering, a ministry, or simply helping in the church office.
- Even when you find a great church home, remember that Christ is your primary and ultimate source of direction, strength and encouragement. Don't rely on the church or others to be your sole source of support and "food".
Trying new churches alone can be intimidating. Consider the following options:
- Do any of your family or friends attend church? Perhaps a fellow sports team member or a co-worker can recommend a church or would be willing to go with you and try a new church.
- Many times, others will invite you to their church. Don't be afraid to take them up on their offer!
- If you do not know someone who fits the above and do not know where to begin, look for a non-denominational church near your home.
Suggestions?
If you have other suggestions that helped you find a church, please email them to us.