Afraid?

​“It is the Lord Who goes before you; He will [march] with you; He will not fail you or let you go or forsake you; [let there be no cowardice or flinching, but] fear not, neither become broken [in spirit–depressed, dismayed, and unnerved with alarm].” Deuteronomy 31:8 Amplified

I was recently the exact opposite of this verse.  I was a coward, flinching in my faith, weighed down in my spirit, depressed, dismayed and unnerved.  

I had a brief relapse of a chronic pain condition under which I suffered terribly for 20 years. It brought back a flood of unpleasant memories.  As I lay in bed in excruciating pain, I was begging God to please release me from the pain. I begged Him to please not ask this of me again.  I couldn’t handle the thought of why He would ask this of me again.  I allowed the pain to lead to fear, which always inevitably leads to doubting.  Did God really say?  Is God really good, reliable, faithful, etc?

Oswald Chambers said, “We get disturbed because we haven’t been considering Him.” 

Bingo. I became disturbed and overwhelmed because I stopped considering Him; His character and His faithfulness.  Has He ever failed me?  Can I recall one instance in which His faithfulness failed?  NO!

His peace cannot be disturbed or violated.  It is imperturbable, immovable, permeating and filling to overflowing every detail of my life, giving me assurance, stability and resiliency.  Charles Spurgeon said, “Cast thyself on Him and PERSEVERINGLY DEPEND even when you cannot REJOICINGLY HOPE.” (Emphasis mine).  My pain may have prevented me from rejoicingly hoping in the moment, but nothing can prevent me from perseveringly depending on my God!  

“When you really see Jesus, I defy you to doubt Him...if you see Him, I defy you to trouble your mind; it is a moral impossibility to doubt when He is there.”  Oswald Chambers

In my circumstance, I needed to make the choice to trust Him even when I didn’t understand.  I can’t fathom the complexities of God’s workings, nor does He ask me to.  He does ask me to trust Him in all things, not just the things I understand or can handle on my own strength.

“Lord, help me to consider You today. When pain, worries, anxieties or unknowns confront me today, remind me to look to You.”